

Suicide Cult HangsfromXmastreeLittle Miiamis longest-lasting suicide cult the Dangling Doodads finally completed their mission of neck suspension via a rope. You may be asking yourself why would anyone want to hang themselves? According to the Doodads website wehatenecks.com, Christmas tree decoration originality is at an all-time low. What is more creative then hanging people from a Christmas tree? The Doodads have received much notoriety and admiration from suicide cults all around the country. Dick Williams of the group Hangin Around said this about the Doodads:Suicide Cult HangsfromXmastree


Baby Leaves MotherTrappedinCarA helpless mother was found dead inside of her car late yesterday evening in a Babys R Us parking lot. An employee found the burnt woman just after clocking out. She was as red as a cucumber, the color-blind woman said. A witness saw a small child get out of the car at around five oclock p.m., but never saw the mother leave the car. The little child got out of the drivers seat, I could see from my binoculars, and walked into the store. Im not sure if it was a boy or girl, Id have to get a good look at their privates, explained the largBaby Leaves MotherTrappedinCar


Too Much Blood is a Bad ThingA study conducted over a period of one week has finally reported some results. The Blood Test conducted on seventy little boys has concluded that too much blood is a bad thing. Thirty-five of the seventy little boys had their veins pumped full of blood too see what would happen. The little boys were very cooperative, probably because we promised them candy if they were good. Unfortunately, the amount of blood pumped into the boys was too much for their veins to handle. The veins burst and many lives were lost, explained Doctor Helmet Ziggler, an intern at the San FToo Much Blood is a Bad Thing


Doctor Weiner's OfficeThe doctor washes his hands In fresh toilet water, Preparing for another day. It works well, he explains.Doctor Weiner's Office
He opens the door to room number 12 And a woman who appears no older than four lies on the bed Three legs spread With my left one in between.
This will be easy, says the doctor. He sticks his deep fried fingers into the woman And the kid bites them off. The bloody booger!
he bends over in pain and waits for his phalange friends to grow back and in the meantime the baby pops out, and slides around the